Life, they say, is a great teacher. While that may be so, many of us might not be equally good students. And I find that years of learning(or the pretense of it) has led to, at least in my case, an inevitable, "laarning" fatigue. More so today when everyone/everything is out to teach me.
There was a time when Life was a patient and generous with its students. It went to lengths to explain things, even gave us many live examples to illustrate those laarnings. But not any more. Today, laarnings come in form of "one liner" capsules, scattered through TV, newspapers, books, internet, facebook, Watsapp, friends, bosses, colleagues, wives and what have you. Pills to be gulped down and digested without as much as a dash of water.
Now there is nothing I hate more than "laarning". Nothing except probably Cars. Actually its difficult to decide. Somedays I hate Cars more than laarning. Other days, I laarn so much, I dont get the time to hate Cars:-P The only respite comes in form of days when I come across inspirational stickers(like "Stop laarning and you stop living") stuck to the rear of a Car, making it easy for me to hate both the car and the laarning in unison:) However, Laarning is in the air. Its like those AIDS kinda viruses which result from Human excesses and can only be suppressed by a bigger virus emanating from an even bigger human excess. And till such time as it keeps you infected, it turns you into a laarning lunatic who wont stop even when his mind is bursting at its seams.
I wake up every morning with the papers in hand and my morning cuppa in the other. I have hardly started to recollect my senses before the timer kicks off. The front page carries a funny headline - "Smritiben bans German. Schools to teach Sanskrit instead". The words hardly seem meaningful or coherent given the state of my mind so I decide to dig deeper and read the para.
"What? Sanskrit? You mean - Deva, Devau, Devaa, Devam, Devau, Devaan, Devena, Devaabhyaam, Devaih, Devaaya, Devaabhyaam, Devebhya.Holy cow, wait a minute, this case calls only for:- Hey Deva, Hey Devau, Hey Devaa " I exclaim to myself as I put up my hands in despair. How can someone who likely isnt a matriculate decide what I should be laarning? But then one of those Life's profound laarnings come to mind - "even a 2 pound newborn can teach you a lot". I sigh. Indeed, if a 2 pound newborn can teach me a lot, surely a 250 pounder can teach me even more! I give up.
Cut to page 5. By this time I have had several large gulps of the brew. My eyes have attained focus, the brain has started functioning while the rest of the body is fast on its way to doing so. Here he is - Narendrabhai, talking of the virtues of "swacch bharat" and wanting to put a ban on sale of loose cigarettes and smoking in public. "Hey Deva, whats this guy upto now? Oh lord, how I so miss the peaceful days of Rajeevji, Chandrsekharbhai and even Narsimha Anna". "Didnt someone teach you?", something deep inside of me speaks, "one realises the value of something only when its missing. Learn to be thankful for what you have. There are many out there who are not so priveleged as you are". There was divine truth in those words. Surely, I am thankful I grew up in an era when we didnt have people forcing us to learn Sanskrit. But try hard as I may, I couldnt fancy someone who would envy me the "privelege" of Smritiben's regime. Unless of course they were staring at the prospect of laarning Pali and Parakrit under Mayaben or Mamtadi! Again, it was difficult for me to imagine being thankful for getting an opportunity to weild my brooming prowess in public. And somehow the idea of dying of cigarette smoke appeared to be far more reassuring than dying of smoke from car pollution. Morning has already set the tone for the day. Narendrabhai had delivered as promised. My Life had already changed and if their nuisance value is any indication, things might take an even more drastic turn tomorrow. I peep into my mailbox and its choc-a-bloc brimming with inspirational messages that urge me to "live now" "go out" "be there" and "do it". But being the conscientious learner that I am, I bypass all these things to try and concentrate on the lesson of thanksgiving. So, for the next half an hour I try to thank every human/animal/inanimate object on earth who/which has even remotely touched my life. But soon I realise the enormity of the exercise. If I continue any longer, it might be time for my boss to say "Thank you" to me! I reach office and start checking mails. Again mindful of being thankful for the mails I got as also for those I hadnt:-P But I have a surprise awaiting me. Something I couldnt possibly be thankful for. Its a mail from my HR department asking me to appear in a departmental test!
Now until recently, I had never failed an exam. Never ever. Except once in I.Sc(1st year) when I had bunked my Hindi exam to watch a Sharjah cup final between India & Pakistan. But then that was a well calculated move. I knew I could push Hindi as my 6th subject and my percentages wouldnt take a hit. I dont know why but Life has a habit of delivering justice immediately whenever I am being tried for my sins. No delays whatsoever. That day was no different. Justice was meted out and India took a royal beating. I laarnt my lesson. I have never bunked exams for Team India since. Only for watching movies:-P
But this was different. I had already appeared and failed twice in the same exam. It was one of those routine exams that are held periodically and are of absolutely no significance beyond the fact that they are part of the HR teams targets. I never took it seriously, and my attempts were just as casual. Which led to the casualty:-P The matter was escalated to my super bosses who were "kind" enough to call me in this regard. It is a difficult situation for me. I have no experience with clearing tests that I had failed twice. I dont even know where to start. It comes as no surprise therefore that being in the dazed and confused state of mind I am, I fail for the third time too. This time by 0.33 marks!
Life is teaching me another lesson - that I can fail, not once, not twice but thrice! I am terribly put off, cant fathom whom by - Narendrabhai, Smritiben or my HR deptt. Throughout the day I have tried my best to soak in Life's Laarnings but the "Gyaana" is just too hot for me to handle. On my way back from office, Life continues trying to teach me valuable lessons at every bend but my laarning fatigue has already caught up with me. I take another cue from Life, my last one for the day - "stop laarning and you stop living".
I prepare to be a dead man!
