Twenty Worst Rock Songs

Having initiated and participated in various arguments about that genre of music called rock, I have a very opinionated list of what songs can ruin my day. I have reconsidered and listened again to some of the songs which I listed as being the best rock songs, and only one of them makes the cut as being the worst too, although a lot of readers would disagree with me.

Thanks to the rock music of the 80's I didn't have a very tough time in making this list, since most of them easily make this list, but top 20 stinkers is the name of this game.

20.'Again': Lenny Kravitz

Lenny after some brilliant performances like the adaptation of the Bill Withers song'Ain't no sunshine', 'Rock N Roll is dead', 'American woman' brings out this made for Valentine's day song which repeatedly keeps saying about his long-lost love. Lenny move on and give us a break. But the waitress in the video was something.

19.' Stairway to Heaven': Led Zeppelin

This was a  less of a stinker compared to some of the other songs on this list. I know, I've listed it on my top twenty rock songs(a list which I am seriously reconsidering), but this crowd-pleaser is like Robert Plant says'an awful wedding song', citing it as one of the main reasons why Zep is not regrouping.

18.' We didn't start the fire': Billy Joel

Billy Joel randomly read some archival newspapers, dropped some famous names and put in some random electronic beats in this hash of a song which went on to win a Grammy. There was actually no  real meaning to the song, only that it sounds cool with the bass turned all the way up, but awful rap sounds cool too on a setup like that.

17.' Moses': Coldplay

Coldplay have to be one of the most overrated bands of all time. I normally listen to this rendition, when my insomnia is at its worst and need to drop off to sleep right at my desk. A mindless droning song from a group who make zombies look like they are on Starbucks double shot.

16.' Rhiannon': Fleetwood Mac

I've always thought that Fleetwood Mac's best album was'Rumors' and this song just proves me right. The only other decent album they have brought out in recent years is'Say you will' thanks to collaboration with some of the best session recording artists of this time.

15.'Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da': The Beatles

My ace in the sleeve  to disappoint all the Beatlemania junkies who repeatedly keep saying that the Beatles never wrote a bad song. This kind of trumps over'Yesterday' because it is simply more awful than that mush song.

14.' Horse with no name': America

This song glorified the drug habit of the hippy, but this is no'Cocaine' instead choosing to banally speak about being through a desert on a horse with no name. A mindless song from a group who didn't know when they were high.

13.' Love me Tender': Elvis Presley

A made for Hallmark song by the King. If I had a penny for everytime I was requested to play this song by dreamy-eyed couples, I would be a millionaire.

'Jailhouse Rock' was energetic, but this song feels like Elvis wrote it when he was not able to bong due to barbiturates.

12.' Dream On': Nazareth

Just when I thought Nazareth was maturing like wine, they bring out this mush about the pain of a couple separating and how you need to be optimistic about your dreams of a better tomorrow.

11.' Gimme All your love': ZZ Top

ZZ top begins a list of truly horrendous songs from the electronic keyboards and drums based songs of the 80's . Just when you thought polyester and cologne died with the disco era. The guitar sounds like it was played by one of the actors in'Revenge of the Nerds'

10.' Black Sun': Soundgarden

Soundgarden had some truly brilliant compositions with very fast guitar riffs and great synchronization of the guitars and the drums. But then they bring out this meaningless song about a cosmic aberration of the sun asking it to

'wash away the rain'. I thought you always dry the water, hell when you are high on mushroom you make songs like this.

9.' Walking in Memphis': Marc Cohn

From the annals of'Christian rock'( a term which I have yet to fully understand) comes this truly horrible celebration of mixing that Southern brand of Christianity with a blend of country, folk and rock thrown in.

8.' Wherever you will go': The Calling

The Calling were labeled as the resurrectors of rock with their lead vocalist billed to be the next Jim Hetfield due to the vocal similarity. This comparison must've been made when Metallica went mainstream(read castrated) because he sure isn't anything of the Hetfield during the underground days of Metallica.

7.' Be my Yoko Ono': Barenaked Ladies

The monotonous riff on the acoustic guitar was supposed to make this song look smart and appeal to the general musically-challenged public who makeup a large segment of the market for CDs. The song is horrible and the lead singer really needs to hit the gym for marketing the group to an even wider market: teenagers.

6.' Some guys have all the luck': Robert Palmer

A favorite of all the'plastic' and'mindless' stone deaf zombies who still think that disco was the greatest thing to happen to music.  A compromise between the rock of the 70's and the club hoppers of the 80's produced this monstrosity.

5.' All I wanna do': Sheryl Crow

The first time I saw this video, I immediately slotted Sheryl Crow into the genre of wannabe Bob Dylan singers. Now she actually needs to wear hot pants and prance on the stage to sell her concerts. What has rock stooped to!

4.' I would do anything for love, I won't do that': Meatloaf

Meatloaf seems to have degenerated from bad to worse over the times, composing this absolutely horrible song, which I remember got a lot of airtime on MTV(or was it Channel V) when I was a teen. Enough to turn me off MTV for a lifetime.

3.'  Hotel California': The Eagles

Recently Don Henley confirmed the fact that he hasn't improved after the Eagles split and'Hotel California' even though a crowd pleaser is sadly a simply corny composition an idea vehemently argued by my friends in Bangalore. Well, suit yourself guys, but when you collaborate with the likes of Trisha Yarwood, you got to be seriously thinking about where you stand in the rock pantheon.

2.' Mr. Roboto' Styx

A club-favorite which cashed on the Jap-bashing of the early eighties. The sound is so plastic and the lyrics absolutely awful, which makes me think that Styx secretly made a deal with the karaoke club owners in Tokyo, to make the song easier to sing for patrons.

1.' With arms wide open': Creed

I was absolutely horrified when an eighteen-year old cousin  told me that her favorite was Scott Stapp of Creed. Well, guess leather pants do have an effect on pre-teen and teen girls. One site couldn't have vocalised my thoughts better when they said the sentence for Stapp should be'twenty years of playing Meatloaf covers and a lifetime ban on wearing those leather pants. Stapp is what you get when rednecks want their own grunge heroes'. Creed confirms that they are the Britney Spears of rock with this composition.

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Rock music has been one of the most innovative forms of music in recent times and resulted in a large number of very diverse groups who have been known for the style and technique of their lyrics and music. It has unfortunately also given us a number of songs that are barely scraping the bottom of the barrel of good rock music.  These are listed below in no particular order.  Again these are my choices of song and it need never and probably will never match anyone else’s and is not meant to offend anyone.  If some choices have appeared in other reviews then it just goes to show you how much I dislike the song.

1. Pour Some Sugar on Me - Def Leppard

This was the band with the one handed drummer that thankfully didn't impair his ability to drum.  It unfortunately didn't make up for the lack of talent in their song writing.  This was a four men in spandex with perms band and what did they end up writing'(Pour some sugar on me), Ooh, in the name of love'.  I'm certain this was supposed to be a love song but sounded more like an ode to kinky sex.  Deserves its status as one of the worst.

2. The Final Countdown - Europe

Another'4 men in spandex with perms'; band but this time from Sweden. They pretended to be rockers and it showed in their songs.  I know a lot of people out there like this song but I never did and so it belongs in my list.

3. Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin

I must admit that I have never seen the point of this song or the point of any of their other songs either. The lyrics are dire and the tune isn't particularly good.  This is one song that Rolf Harris did actually improve upon.

4. Everything I do - Bryan Adams

Apologies to those of you who truly liked this song but it is really bad.  It's a not very nice tune and fairly basic https://lyrics.  This was from the genius who gave us'Summer of 69', 'Run To You' and some other really good songs.  Was nice the first time around but was really not so nice after hearing it for the 12, 675 time.

5. Lucy in the sky with diamonds - William Shatner

Yes William Shatner the man who was Captain Kirk and T.J. Hooker.  His acting was bad enough and his singing was worse.  This wasn't even one of the Beatles good tunes.

6. Living Next Door To Alice - Smokey

A song essentially about some bloke who lived next door to some woman called Alice and wondered what she was up to.  Not a very interesting theme.  It was livened up by the rude version where the chorus actually asks the question that we all wanted to know'Who the F.k is Alice?'

7. How Am I Supposed To Live Without You - Michael Bolton

Michael Bolton is essentially the male version of Celine Dion.  The less said about him the better. Well Michael we can live very happily without you thank you very much.

8. Most songs by Pink Floyd

I'll be honest I never got into their music and the style of their music just never impressed me.  Everyone else used to rave about them so I did listen to an album of theirs and I just didn't like them so they are hear on the list.

9. Most songs by Napalm Death

They were defined by the term Death Metal.  Music with lots of very fast guitars and lots of screeching into the microphone.  I'm sure they're songs had lyrics its just you had no idea of what they actually were.  They have a few songs that were under half a minute and are literally some one screaming'huh' down a microphone.

10. We didn't start the Fire - Billy Joel

A lot of people liked this one.  I didn't. The bulk of the song is just a list of things that have happened over the last 30 years interspersed with'We didn't start the Fire'.  I think its supposed to be a song about revolution and change but it just didn't start a fire as far as I was concerned.

11. Love Missile F1-11 - Sigue Sigue Sputnik

These were rockers from Russia I think and were noted for having big hair, high heels and cobwebs either tattooed or painted across their faces.  Some people obviously liked them and bought the single as Love Missile did well in the UK charts when it was released.  I wasn’t one of  these people.

12. Big Balls - ACDC

I like ACDC I think they are a very good band.  This was one song of theirs that I just didn’t like.  It didn't really have much of a tune and I think it was supposed to clearly be full of double meaning.  I have seen people do this joke better than ACDC and they should stick to doing what they do best which is write good songs.

13. Spirit in the Sky - Dr & the Medics/Norman Greenbaum

Possibly an early example of Christian rock. Essentially talks about what happens to you when you die and how as the singer as done nothing wrong he has a friend in Jesus.  Very repetitive song and you get sick of the Spirit in the Sky after a while.

14. Should I Stay Or Should I Go - The Clash

The Clash were a good example of a Punk band and has some songs which I quite like.  This song has very little meaning to it and consists purely of the question being asked'Should I stay or should I go' and I think the answer is clear'You should go now&';

15. All Right Now - Free

I just never liked this song and never saw the point of it.

16. Baggy Trousers - Madness

Again Madness had some really nice songs such as'It must be love', 'Our House' &'House of Fun'.  It is possible that if I had listened to those first and then listened to'Baggy Trousers' I might have liked it but no it happened the other way around and unfortunately this song entered my list of worst songs ever.

17. We Built This City Out of Rock n’ Roll - Starship

It was ok the first couple of times and then you realised that the lyrics were poor and the song boring.

18. I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper – Sarah Brightman

The name says it all.

19. Knockin On Heavens Door – Guns N Roses

I never liked this song.  The original by Bob Dylan was ok this one wasn't.

20. Candle in The Wind(Diana Version) - Elton John

The original written by Bernie Taupin was about the life of Marilyn Monroe and had meaning to it.  The Diana version was Elton John's idea to make a commemorative record.  Unfortunately he lacks the songwriting skill of Taupin and what resulted was the worst peace of pap ever written.  Although this is not strictly a rock I think it deserves a mention somewhere.

I'm sure there are many many more songs that do deserve mention and if I think of more I might update some of the ones above.  It was quite difficult to restrict the criteria to only'Rock' songs and not include a lot of pop songs but I have tried as best as I could.  Anyway whether you like the list or not doesn't really bother me as its my choice anyway.

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