The top ten reasons why the television is better than the World Wide Web

It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.

When was the last time you tuned in to "Melrose Place" and got a "Error 404" message?

There are fewer grating color schemes on TV--even on MTV.

The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening.

A remote control has fewer buttons than a keyboard.

Even the worst TV shows never excuse themselves with an "Under Construction" sign.

Seinfeld never slows down when a lot of people tune in.

You just can't find those cool Health Rider infomercials on the Web.

Set-top boxes don't beep and whine when you hook up to HBO.

You can't surf the Web from a couch with a beer in one hand and Doritos in the other.